Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
