Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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