Got a toothbrush?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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