The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
