Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Are my feet made of real feet?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
