i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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