Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
