i barfeds in our rink
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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