It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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