? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's never too late to be topless.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
