Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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