Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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