So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
im holly from the hills drunk
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
