just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
