I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Success! We fucked roommates!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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