How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
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okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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