I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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