yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
