OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just googled if crying burns calories
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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