I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
