sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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