it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
