Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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