Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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