I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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