omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize