Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize