Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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