Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
