i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
