There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Success! We fucked roommates!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
