he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
