We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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