My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
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I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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