I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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