i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
