I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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