I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
