He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
