Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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