Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.