there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
