She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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