I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
