i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
