i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
