Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
