his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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