I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
