I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
