I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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