You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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