It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I still have a little drunk in my system
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
