it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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