I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The power of my boobs compel you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
