You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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