he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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