Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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