Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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