I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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